Your dad touched me again.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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