There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize