i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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