Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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