is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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