I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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