It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My feet surprised me
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
