We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
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I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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