dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
