could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
