That's intense
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
