he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
