Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
