Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.