they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.