If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
How's your threesome situation going?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing