when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia