so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.