haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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