is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My liver just had a heart attack.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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