Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
