She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
