Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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