Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just gargled with NyQuil
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
