i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
