She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
