She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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