nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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