Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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