I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
