Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
