Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
