Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
