It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
