so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
