ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
