I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
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you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
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Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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