Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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