Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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