You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize