i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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