At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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