but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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