I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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