You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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