I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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