i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
