And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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