I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
