You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
