Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
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I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
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Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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