1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
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any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
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the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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