Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
