no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
