is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
