yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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