We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
