I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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