when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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