I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
No subtext here. People are naked.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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