is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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